Weekly Waffle #402 – Two Players, One Creepy Show
22nd November 2025
For this week’s weekly waffle I have once again switch codes and move back to Guild Ball. I was inspired by painting up the older version of Obulus so went ahead and picked up some of the current Morticians miniatures. There are currently two boxes available and I decided to start with ’Strings of the Spirit Weaver’. Just because it had characters in it that I hadn’t previously painted. But don’t worry the new version of Obulus will make a return in a future update.
I’ve tweaked the colour scheme a little but it’s still essentially what I hop comes across and a slightly green tinted grey. Going for the that deathly feel. With some purple accents just to give it a bit of pop in places. If I had been a bit braver I may have gone with an all grey affair but I didn’t feel confident enough in my painting ability to really pull it off.
As it stands at the moment I think that the colour scheme will look really nice on the table top and may even get a few people interested in playing. And on that front whilst Guild Ball is technically unsupported I’ve noticed on the web site that there are some new miniatures on the way. Not recasts of existing minis but genuinely new, for a new faction. That’s right there are miniatures on the way for the Lumber Jack’s.
I’m not sure if they are something I would want to pick up any time soon, I’ve so many others I’d like to try first. But it shows that there is some renewed interest in the game and whilst it may Neve come back to its old glory it hasn’t been forgotten.
But getting back to the Morticians for this week I have the paring of Brainpan and Memory. A suitably creepy pair to start off this new venture into the Morticians. As I’ve already said I’ve gone with a simple grey colour scheme with a small splash of purple just to provide a little bit of extra interest. But what do you think.
You can see more Guild Ball miniatures at my gallery here
Looking at them in the game every Guild Ball team has its oddballs. The quirky mascot, the eccentric support piece, the player who feels like they wandered in from a different sport entirely. But the Morticians don’t settle for quirky. Oh no. They give us Brainpan & Memory, a double act so unsettling that even other Morticians probably shuffle away when they arrive.
Brainpan, the deranged puppeteer, and Memory, his shambling marionette of stitched-together body parts, are one of the most unique duos in the game. They don’t just play football; they perform a macabre pantomime of control, trickery, and creepy coordination.
And today’s waffle is all about why this pair are both brilliant and absolutely horrifying.
In the Guild Ball universe, Brainpan is a lunatic inventor with an obsession for control and creation. He doesn’t just make machines, he makes people. Memory is his greatest experiment, a stitched-up puppet given life through necromancy and foul craft.
Where Obulus controls with whispers and Scalpel with the knife, Brainpan controls with strings, literal and figurative. He doesn’t see the world as people and objects, just toys to be arranged on his personal stage.
Memory, meanwhile, isn’t really a person at all. He’s a body without will, moved and manipulated by Brainpan like a marionette. It’s grotesque, yes, but it’s also a perfect symbol of the Morticians’ philosophy: you’re not really alive, you’re just a piece to be moved until you’re discarded.
Together, they’re not teammates in the usual sense. They’re one personality split into two bodies, and they make sure everyone knows it.
Mechanically, Brainpan & Memory are one of Guild Ball’s most unique duos. You get two models, but they operate as one interconnected piece. A puppeteer and his puppet, constantly setting each other up for plays that feel less like football and more like a horror themed stage show.
On the pitch they have a disturbing toolkit to call upon.
Brainpan manipulates Memory’s positioning using Puppet Control, giving you incredible flexibility. Memory can be redeployed, repositioned, and thrown into the mix at just the right time. Memory is then fantastic at controlling the ball. His ability to kick reliably, combined with Brainpan’s setup, makes them surprisingly potent at goal-focused plays. Memory isn’t easy to deal with either. You can’t simply knock him out like a normal player. His rules make him slippery and frustrating, sticking around far longer than you’d like. And while not the team’s heaviest hitters, Brainpan & Memory can pile on chip damage and positional control, setting up bigger threats like Cosset or Ghast to close in for the kill
The duo are all about flexibility and pressure. They don’t specialise in one thing, instead, they create opportunities.
Memory is brilliant at handling possession, forcing opponents to chase him down. Whilst Brainpan repositions Memory to disrupt formations, stretch defences, or enable sudden bursts of pressure. By messing with space and possession, the pair create prime openings for the Morticians’ big hitters.
They’re not straightforward, but they’re endlessly entertaining.
Playing against this duo is like trying to fight smoke. Just when you think you’ve dealt with Memory, Brainpan shifts him back into place. Just when you think the ball is safe, Memory boots it halfway across the pitch. Just when you think you’re comfortable, the pair contrive some bizarre combo that ruins your carefully laid plans.
The trick is targeting Brainpan. Without him, Memory loses much of his utility. Brainpan himself isn’t particularly tough, so if you can pressure him early, you can limit the duo’s effectiveness.
Fail to do so, though, and you’ll spend the game chasing a puppet while Brainpan cackles on the side lines.
Brainpan & Memory remind me of those players who can’t help but run combos. You know the ones. They’re not satisfied with a single strong model or a simple plan. No, they want the synergy. The weird two card combo in a deck. The character build that only works if you roll three sixes in a row. The miniature pairing that does something strange and wonderful when it all clicks.
When it works, they look like geniuses. When it doesn’t, they shrug, laugh, and say “worth a try.”
That’s Brainpan & Memory in a nutshell. They’re not consistent bruisers or strikers . They’re a bizarre act that, when played well, feels like dark magic, and when played badly, feels like amateur hour at the puppet theatre.
To wrap things up, Brainpan & Memory are one of the Morticians’ most thematic and mechanically unique contributions to Guild Ball. They’re creepy, flexible, and utterly disruptive. A perfect reflection of the guild’s obsession with control, manipulation, and unsettling the opposition.
On the pitch, they’re a dynamic duo, capable of controlling space, handling the ball, and generally being a nightmare to deal with. In the lore, they’re even worse: a lunatic and his living puppet, a reminder that in the Morticians’ world, you’re never more than a string away from being controlled.
If Obulus is the puppeteer, then Brainpan is the puppeteer’s understudy, and Memory is the puppet, dangling and dancing to someone else’s tune. And together? They’re the most disturbing comedy act Guild Ball has ever seen.
That’s it for this week but you can rest assured that there will be more from the Morticians over the coming week’s. And I have a few other projects that I would like to have a play with so if the guild ball mojo slips the content should keep flowing. Until next week I hope you all keep safe and that all your hobby projects run smoothly. And I’ll be back here, same time same place next week for more hobby updates.
