Weekly Waffle #412 – The Morticians’ Master of Strings
21st February 2026
Good morning and welcome back to the Weekly Waffle. I’m going to start off this morning with an apology for missing last week’s Weekly Waffle. I don’t have any real excuses other than I had a major dip in mojo and life in general was very busy. I spent an inordinate amount of time stuck at train stations waiting for delayed or cancelled trains. It got so bad at one point that everyone gave up and we all went looking for buses to get us home. But the long and short of all of that was that I just didn’t get any hobby time and I didn’t even manage to just bring you a simple waffle.
I think a lot of that lack of mojo comes from the fact that I’ve just not cracked on and got the morticians finished. And they are beginning to get me down a bit. I need to mix things up and try painting something a bit different. So I’m very pleased to be able to say that for better or worse I’ve finished off my last character this week. It’s not my best work and I may well come back and touch a few things up but I just needed to get him off my workbench so I can focus on something new.
The character in question is none other than Obulus the Morticians Master of Strings. I started this project off with an older version of Obulus so seems fitting that I’m finishing things off with the current version. The painting process has been exactly the same as for the other Morticians so I won’t bore you by going through it all again but if you interested I have more details in Weekly Waffle #402. But here he is in all of his glory.
You can see more Guild Ball miniatures at my gallery here
Now we can have a look at what Obulus brings to the table top and a bit of a look at his in game law. There’s a moment, in every game of Guild Ball, where you realise you’re not the one in control. You think you’ve got the ball, you think you’ve got the play lined up, you think you’re about to make the kind of move that wins you the cheers of your club night comrades and a pint on the way home. Then you look up, and you see Obulus smiling that smile. The smile that says, actually, friend, you were never the one making the decisions here.
Welcome to the world of Obulus, the Morticians’ Captain, the man who makes even other Guild Ball captains look like they’re dancing on strings. If ever there was a character who embodies the idea that Guild Ball isn’t just about smashing skulls and scoring goals, but about pulling every single psychological lever available, it’s this fellow.
And today’s waffle is all about him, the lore, the role, and the reason why half your mates groan when they see you put him on the table.
Let’s talk about the man himself. In the official fluff, Obulus isn’t just some necromancer cosplay with a taste for melodrama, he’s the Morticians’ answer to every question you didn’t want to ask.
He runs his team, not with camaraderie or loyalty, but with the terrifying charisma of someone who sees people not as allies, but as tools. A tool for fear, a tool for leverage, a tool for getting what he wants. Every character in the Morticians’ lineup has a story about how Obulus holds them in check, how he knows their weakness, their secrets, or the one thing they can’t bear to lose.
It’s a running theme in the Morticians, the guild isn’t built on trust, it’s built on coercion. Where the Brewers drown their doubts in ale, and the Masons hold together with honour and pride, the Morticians run on the cold currency of fear. And at the centre of that spider’s web sits Obulus, smug and untouchable, the one who pulls the strings.
He doesn’t even need to dirty his hands. The very existence of Obulus suggests that the Morticians don’t play the same game as the rest of the world. Everyone else shows up to Guild Ball to kick a ball around and murder a few opposition players for the crowd’s entertainment. The Morticians show up to remind you that you’re never as free as you think.
Right then, enough mood-setting. What’s Obulus actually like on the table? In one word: infuriating.
If you’re on the receiving end, he’s the kind of captain that makes you reconsider your life choices. If you’re piloting him, you’ll spend half the game stifling laughter as your opponent realises their plan isn’t worth the dice it was scribbled on.
Obulus is all about control. Forget raw damage output or blistering goal-scoring pace, his entire kit is designed to mess with positioning, momentum, and activation order. He doesn’t just play the game; he makes you play his game.
Puppet Master: The big one, the ability that makes opponents sigh loudly enough to rattle the beer glasses. Want to move your opponent’s striker out of goal range? Done. Fancy dragging the ball carrier straight into the waiting maw of your team’s bruisers? Sorted. Puppet Master is one of the most thematic and most powerful abilities in the entire game, because it turns agency into Obulus’ personal plaything.
Misdirection & Control Strings: Momentum manipulation, character play denial, and the kind of tricks that make even veteran players pause to rethink. Obulus doesn’t just control where you stand; he controls what you can do.
Tactical Flexibility: While he isn’t a frontline brawler, he can still generate momentum, snatch the ball, and contribute to the scoreline. He’s slippery rather than strong, evasive rather than tough – the sort of captain who’s infuriatingly hard to pin down.
Obulus’ game plan is simple to describe, but devilishly hard to stop:
Disrupt the enemy’s plan. Whatever they want to do, Obulus makes it harder.
Exploit mistakes. Once they’re out of position or forced to overcommit, the Morticians swoop in.
Win by inevitability. Obulus doesn’t rush to victory; he sets up situations where the opponent slowly realises they can’t win.
If you’re a control player, someone who enjoys outthinking the opponent rather than outmuscling them, Obulus is your man. But be warned – he’s a high-skill-cap captain. You don’t just plonk him on the board and expect miracles. You have to see two or three moves ahead, like chess but with more coffins.
Let’s not sugarcoat it, facing Obulus is rough. He thrives on punishing players who make even the smallest mistake. If you leave a model out of position, he’ll make you regret it. If you hoard momentum, he’ll bleed it out of you. If you get too confident, he’ll drag your star striker halfway across the pitch and feed them to Ghast.
The trick is discipline. You’ve got to play tighter than tight, keep your spacing neat, and never underestimate how far Obulus can reach into your plans. He’s not unbeatable – but he’s the kind of captain who makes you feel like you lost three turns ago, and are only just realising it.
Going off on a slight tangent, every gaming group has one. The control player. The one who doesn’t want to charge in swinging or go for the quick flashy goal. No, they want to sit back, grin, and ask “are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
That’s the Obulus player. They’re the same people who picked blue in Magic: the Gathering, who played Imperial Guard artillery lists back in Warhammer 40K, or who still think poker nights are about bluffing, not about losing your beer money on a dodgy hand of two sevens.
Playing against them is an exercise in patience. Playing as them is an exercise in smug satisfaction. And honestly? That’s the fun of it. The Morticians need that kind of vibe. They’re not there to be everyone’s best mate, they’re there to remind you that sometimes, you’re just the puppet.
So summing up, Obulus is the perfect encapsulation of the Morticians’ Guild: manipulative, sinister, and always three steps ahead. He’s not the most straightforward captain, nor the most forgiving, but for players who want to win by pulling strings rather than swinging fists, he’s the ultimate choice.
On the table, he turns games into mental battles. In the lore, he’s the spider at the heart of the web. And in the hearts of his opponents, he’s the source of more groans and muttered curses than a dodgy dice roll.
So, the next time you face Obulus, just remember: you’re not in charge here. He is. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
That just about wraps up this week’s weekly waffle but I will be back with more updates for you next week. The mojo has been restored and I already know what I am going to be bringing you, and I’m excited. Not that it’s going to be anything fantastic but it’s not another mortician so I’m looking forward to sharing with you.
As I’ve mentioned before I’m taking a bit of break after next week’s update but tat doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere, or at least not in hobby terms. In the real world I’m going to the other side of the world to meet the inlaws. It’s something like 23 hours in the air, with two layovers. I’m not looking forward to that but I am looking forward to the trip.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. I will be back next week so until then I hope you all have a fantastic week and that I will see you back here for something new next week.
