Weekly Waffle #400 – The Cucumber Soakers
8th November 2025
For this week’s weekly waffle I’ve finalised this round of sporting excellence by bringing all of the Halflings together as a team for you. It’s been a fun few week’s painting these guys up and brining you some details about the different positions within the team. But now it’s time to bring them all together for a final review.
There are some more spaces in the roster that I want to fill over the coming week’s or months but it’s go spot to wrap up this stage of the project. The next bits will take the form of some Treemen to add a bit of resilience to the team. There are also some nice special characters that would work well with the team and I’ll pick them up at some point in the future. But I do have a few other projects that I would like to do before I come back round these.
Not that I’ve got fed up with these but i think trying to mix things up has worked out quite well for me this year. Keeping the mojo flowing by not getting to bogged down painting the same thing for too long. Not a great approach if you are looking to build out a horde army. But works well for me at the moment bouncing from one project to another.
But that’s enough waffle from me. Where we have the full team in all it’s glory and then I’ve given you something of a review of how my version of the halfling team will fit into the wider world of Blood Bowl.
In the grand and chaotic universe of Blood Bowl, where the clash of armour and the echo of cheers fill the air, one team stands out not for their might, but for their wit, charm, and an uncanny ability to dodge disaster. Welcome to the world of the Cucumber Soakers, a halfling team that embodies the spirit of both mischief and resilience, rooted in the lore of the Greenfield Grasshuggers but distinctly flavoured by the quirky essence of the Weekly Waffle.
Picture this: a bunch of halflings, not the brutish giants or the tactical masterminds you often see on the pitch, but the tiny, nimble, and sometimes downright ridiculous characters that make up the Cucumber Soakers. They’re not just here to play Blood Bowl; they’re here to entertain, to charm, and to leave their mark on the game in the most unexpected ways.
The genesis of the Cucumber Soakers can be traced back to a rather chaotic Bridge tavern in the heart of the halfling community, where the Weekly Waffle’s tales of misadventures and absurdity inspired a group of enthusiastic players. After a few too many mugs of ale and a couple of daring bets, the idea was born: why not form a team that reflects the lighthearted spirit found in the Weekly Waffle, combining puns, humour, and a love for cucumbers?
As they donned their mismatched jerseys and crafted their whimsical mascot, an oversized cucumber with a top hat, they became the Cucumber Soakers. Their motto? “We may be small, but we soak up the fun!” And thus, they set out to prove that even the smallest players can leave the biggest impression on the pitch.
But what do the Cucumber Soakers bring to the game? Well, let’s dive into their gameplay mechanics, which are as delightful and unpredictable as their name suggests. Unlike the more straightforward approaches of other teams, the Soakers thrive on chaos, creativity, and a touch of luck.
Halflings are known for their speed and agility, and the Cucumber Soakers are no exception. With a roster filled with agile players, they can dart around the pitch, eluding tackles with the finesse of a seasoned dancer. Their unique ability to dodge into tight spaces makes them a nightmare for opponents who rely on brute strength.
In every game, the Cucumber Soakers employ their signature strategy: the “Cucumber Tactic.” This involves a series of unexpected moves that can leave opponents scratching their heads. With their clever use of misdirection, they can create openings for a last-minute touchdown or thwart an enemy’s advance, all while keeping the atmosphere light and entertaining.
While they may not be the most durable team, the Soakers’ resilience comes from their ability to bounce back from setbacks. A well timed reroll or a lucky dodge can turn the tide of a game, and their players know how to capitalise on even the slightest opportunity, often leading to hilarious outcomes.
Now, let’s get into their role on the pitch. The Cucumber Soakers are the jokers of the Blood Bowl league, and they embrace this with open arms. While other teams may focus on brute strength or tactical precision, the Soakers excel in creating moments of sheer unpredictability.
One of the key roles on the team is that of the “Distractor.” This player’s job is to draw attention away from the ball carrier, often through antics that could involve juggling, comedic facials, or even spontaneous cucumber-themed skits. While the opponent is busy laughing (or groaning) at the antics, the ball carrier can slip by unnoticed, making for an unexpected score.
Every Blood Bowl team needs a player who can control the ball like a seasoned pro, and for the Cucumber Soakers, this is the “Ball Wizard.” Equipped with an uncanny ability to predict the ball’s trajectory, this player can make miraculous catches and passes that leave their opponents in awe. Imagine a halfling making a dive for a pass that seems impossible, only to land perfectly on their feet, cucumber in hand.
While they may not pack the punch of a full-sized ogre, the Cucumber Soakers have their own version of a bruiser, albeit a cheerful one. This player is tasked with providing protection for the ball carrier, using their small stature to slip through defences and create openings. Their role is to blend humour and strategy, often using playful banter to confuse opposing players while ensuring their team stays in the game.
As the Cucumber Soakers take to the pitch, the atmosphere transforms. Spectators gather, intrigued by the strange but lovable halflings. Laughter mixes with cheers as the game unfolds, and the Soakers quickly become the darlings of the crowd.
In one memorable match, they faced off against a fearsome orc Da Cella Boyz team, known for their brutal tactics. The Soakers, undeterred by their opponents’ reputation, entered the game with their usual flair. The Distractor took centre stage, performing an outrageous dance routine that had the crowd roaring with laughter. Meanwhile, the Ball Wizard executed a series of flawless passes, each one met with gasps and applause.
As the final minutes ticked away, the Soakers found themselves down by a touchdown. But instead of panicking, they relied on their trademark strategy. The Cheerful Bruiser made a daring run, drawing in multiple orc players, while the Distractor executed a perfect distraction, pulling out a cucumber and juggling it amidst the chaos. The orcs were so baffled that they forgot about the ball carrier, who slipped past them and scored the equaliser just as the final whistle blew.
The Cucumber Soakers may not be the most conventional team in Blood Bowl, but they’ve carved out a unique niche. They remind players that at its core, Blood Bowl is about fun, camaraderie, and a touch of absurdity. Their legacy is one of laughter and unexpected triumphs, proving that even the smallest players can make the biggest impact.
As they continue to compete, the Cucumber Soakers embody the spirit found in the pages of the Weekly Waffle, full of whimsy, charm, and a dash of chaos. Whether they win or lose, they leave every match with smiles on their faces and stories that echo long after the final whistle.
In conclusion, the Cucumber Soakers are not just a halfling team; they’re a celebration of the joy and unpredictability that Blood Bowl brings to the table. So, the next time you find yourself in a game, remember: it’s not always about who’s the biggest or the strongest. Sometimes, it’s about who can soak up the fun the most!
That’s all I have for you this week but I will be back with more of something for next week. I’m not sure what form that something will take at the moment but there will be something. Until then I hope you all keep yourselves safe and that that all your hobby projects are a success.
